Jake trying to make a funny face
“I like to see people’s faces when they are laughing. I like to make people laugh mommy” Jake said after he attempted to make a funny face.
Children try to amuse each other often and many times their antics fall on deaf ears. Attention is something that we all seek to some extent. As adults we want attention at work if we have been excelling in our field. As moms we want attention from our husbands or family that we are doing a good job as a mom. As friends we want our friends to want to hang out with us. We are all looking for validation of some type. Someone that says “You are a good person, I like you and you are doing a good job!” We all crave being accepted and loved.
Our children do it differently than adults. Children act like clowns or talk louder so others can hear them. Children interrupt conversations, when was the last time you were able to complete a sentence with your child next to you? Children grab us and hug us when they need that love. Sometimes they are subtle but most of the time they are obvious.
As adults we have learned that it is more acceptable to not be so obvious in our need for acceptance because then you run the risk of appearing desperate and no adult wants that. So we walk the line, we don’t hug when we want to, we don’t brag when we are about to explode with excitement over a project we did well, we don’t beg our friends to call us. Instead we quietly initiate a conversation that will lead to revealing subtly our achievements, we try to show we need a hug without asking and we call our friends instead of waiting for them to call us.
Children are open, honest and raw with their needs and adults are guarded, confusing and reserved with our needs. Makes you wonder whose needs are being met and whose needs are not?
hmmmm, very insightful Lori. I’m totally getting what you are saying but as adults we’ve been trained to not interrupt, brag, etc. Like just us knowing we are doing the right thing, doing a good job, etc is enough. But it sure is nice to get some positive reinforcement sometimes. Dennis is good at it and my Rebecca is always saying nice things to me. She compliments my clothes, hair and cooking almost every day…I eat it up as I don’t think my other 2 realize I exist sometimes…until THEY need something…haha.
As kids get older, they seem to stop being so obvious about it. Aidan will just come up and say”hug” or will say “what’s the password?” when I am leaving (the password is a hug and kiss). Ethan is now more reserved, usually runs up and sort of tackles me for a hug. Funny how a few years makes a difference. Still need the love and attention, just obtain it differently. Interesting observation!