So, this summer a friend of mine suggested that I have my prayer meditations, that I write and lead with my students, published. Because my students love them and seem to truly connect with God within the experience, and I enjoy writing them, I thought why not! I actually asked a great friend of mine to coauthor the proposal because she is the one who introduced me to the meditations in the retreats we led. We hammered out a great proposal, it took weeks. We sent it to two different publishers. The first one rejected it quickly. The second was sincerely interested in the project. She passed it on to a team of high school text book editors. Someone actually wrote a proposal about the proposal defining the pros and cons of the book. I started the proposal in May and I received the final answer yesterday. It was a NO! I received the most feedback I have ever received and this is my 10th formal rejection from a publisher. One of the more important concerns was marketing the book. I have a growing on line ministry however, I am not on a speaking circuit and am not well known in the Catholic High School arena. I did receive very constructive ideas about the proposal. If we decide to repackage it she gave us great ways to do it.
So, what should I learn from “this” rejection? Well, I am not mad at God at all. I have been so blessed in my life to have amazing children, a supportive husband, encouraging parents, and great students. I honestly have been blessed with all I ever wanted except a published book. If God thinks I am not ready for that yet, I know God knows best. I am not at a stage in my life that I want to travel away from my children and marketing a book would entail that.
There are only a few things that truly upset me about the rejection. One is that if I was famous for any reason I would have a book whether it was poorly written or bad content just because of my fame. I don’t want to be famous I just want to bring people closer to God in my life and hopefully through my writing. The other thing that upsets me is that I really want more teachers to give their students the opportunity to meditate and this book could have given them an easy way to do it.
Each time I am rejected I learn, and I grow. I don’t believe that God created this desire to be published unless someday He will allow me to do it. I also know what’s most important is doing God’s will in my every day life and I do that by loving my family, writing my blog, writing and leading meditations, teaching, and being a friend to other’s, and being a child of God. The rejection stings badly but the healing from it will make me a stronger person. I am not giving up on that dream no matter how many times I am rejected especially if each time I get a little closer.