Our hands
“OK, mom you can let go, I think I can do it now, “Jake said to me over the music blaring on the crowded skating rink. I looked down at him and thought to myself “He is doing it again, he is letting go.” Just as my eyes began to fill with tears he grabbed my hand once more and said “I think I will hold on just a little bit longer mom, until I can really get this for myself.”
Parenting is a process of letting go and that part is painful. However, the cool part is they still want to know that our hand is extended and ready if they accidentally fall. Jake wanted to let go and skate on his own and tried it several times but each time he began to lose his balance he found my hand, he didn’t have to ask for it or look for it, it was there next to him. I kept my arm extended and hand opened the entire hour we skated, it was held and dropped at least a dozen times.
As parents we need to prepare our children for life. We need to teach them independence and how to handle anything. We also need to teach them unconditional love so they can give it to others. Within the idea of unconditional love we find the always extended and opened hand. We don’t try to knock them down so they will need us. We try to teach them to skate on their own but if they begin to fall we are able to help them from hitting the wood floor too hard. Jake said to me “Mom I don’t want to fall one time.” My response was “Jake it is ok to fall really it is good to fall a few times. If you don’t fall a few times how will you ever learn to get back up?”
We as parents should not enable our children or stunt their growth because we care so much. There are times we have to witness their fall because our hand cannot catch them every time. However, our love should always be extended to them, our hand always open to help them. As the time slips away so gradually yet quickly I want to remember his little hand and how right now while he is only 5 it holds on so tightly yet every so often it let’s go.
Beautiful comment.
We can also remember that this “letting go” and this “falling down so you can learn to get up again” is God’s pedagogy with us, His children, and that His hand is also always there for us to grab when we feel we need help.
Wendy
Caracas – VENEZUELA
Such a beautiful reflection. It reminds me of God’s love for us, his arms are always stretched toward us to help us when we fall.
Lori:
What a beautiful thought for the day. I so many time feel like I am still the kid but that is me hanging on to my inner child and it allows me to relate much better to my own kids. As I watch my children getting older, I find myself moving closer and closer to letting go. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it, but it came with the job when I accepted the role as Mama, Mommy and eventually Mom. I look forward to the day my role turns to becoming my daughter and son’s friend instead of the role which consists of time out, grounding and lecturing. I will happily retire that role to become advisor and guide them in new directions as adults.
Becoming an adult has allowed me to enjoy my relationship so much more with my Mom. My role changed the day I graduated, moved away from home, moved back home, got married, when I had my daughter, when I got divorced, remarried and had my son. We talk about anything and share all kinds of experiences – some fun some not so fun. All the while she knows how much I love her and I know how much she loves me. Her advice is practical and sound rather that what I viewed as lecturing as a teen. My husband lost his mother so many years ago. Although he missed her daily, he trully values his relationsip with my mom and reminds me how lucky I am.
Thank you for your website and the opportunity for me to allow me to grow as a woman, a better mommy/mom, daughter and share our the thing we have most in common – our Faith!