Until we confront the person and find out that he/she didn’t even know it happened. We find out that the motive was a lack of consideration, it was not a well thought out plan to hurt us but a thoughtless action that happened in the spur of the moment and most likely it was forgotten the next moment. Yet, in our mind we constructed a trial, sentence, and hanging for this person that was oblivious to the crime. We do this entirely too often.
So, how do we stop this constructed trial and conviction? We need to realize that those are unhealthy thoughts and emotions. Instead of clinging to the idea that we are victims we need to feel the pain for a moment and let it go. We need to not attach or cling to the idea and watch it dissipate. If we say she didn’t mean it, I am not hurt and truly release it then the anger and racing mind will cease. Do not let your emotions and thoughts own you. You are not your thoughts or emotions. They occur and are temporary, feel them for a moment and release them. It is when we allow ourselves to be caught up in the imaginary drama and continuously replay it that we cause damage to self, and others.
Stop holding on, let it go, and concentrate on healthy good experiences and situations.