We have been taught to follow our passion and to love fully in our relationships. We will not enjoy every part of each relationship in our lives. Our responsibilities are not always about joy. When a child vomits, as a mom we respond and help the child. Moms don’t enjoy this chore, but we love the child. All parts of life have these necessary but unsavory acts connected to love. Love is a self gift. It is not about self it is about other.
Our society has confused real love with this romanticized idea of feeling an unimaginable joy at all times. This does not happen at all times when we love. That is part of the reason so many marriages end so early. If each partner believes that love is that infatuated feeling of butterflies and unicorns, then when we truly have to love with the vomit, financial issues, disagreements and hard times all the warm fuzzies are gone. People think it must be over if we argue this much. We take a vow to be together until death due us part not until we argue too much and we can’t find the warm fuzzies anymore.
Love is self giving. Both parties must adhere to this idea or it will not work. Love is arguing, but respecting the differences of opinion. Love is cleaning up someone else’s mess but still caring for the person. Love is finding a compromise to resolve the issue and ALWAYS being willing to say your sorry and forgive 70 times 70 times. If you truly love without condition it never ends. It takes commitment by both people to understand this love and be willing to be self giving. If you have found that mutual love I am so happy for you not because you will experience temporary joy but because you will experience a lifetime of a deeper joy than most can hardly imagine. It is a challenge, painful at times and very self sacrificial but genuine.
Love is a gift of self to the other.