Jake wearing his daddy's shirt
Our children are so cute when they are dressed in adult clothes. Especially girls with mom’s high heels and big dresses, simply adorable. It gives you an image of them all grown up yet you can still appreciate that they are children.
We as moms all too often treat our children as short adults. Personally,I do this entirely too much. We put expectations on our children to act older, more mature than they really are capable of acting.
My daughter is only 8 years old but she is the tallest in her class, she is almost as tall as my 10 year old. When she was only 6 months old her doctor said she will most likely be close to 6 feet tall when she is full grown. He said “Good thing she is a girl, because of her size people will expect her to act older”. He commented that girls act more mature so it may be easier for her growing up. Anna never seemed like a toddler to me because she was so mature for her age. She decided to potty train a little before she turned 2. I was in complete shock. I did not ask her or try to get her to do it. She told me she wanted to and she did it, on her 2nd birthday she was potty trained. She has always been nurturing to her little brothers which also made her appear to be older. Due to these factors and experiences I often hold her to a higher stander. I am not quick to pick her up when she has scraped her knee because she seems old enough to handle it. I do not console her and give her sympathy as I would my 4 year old or 6 year old. I know it is wrong. I am working on that daily. I expect for her to have very civilized responses to different situations because of her maturity and get upset when she acts like she is 8. I have been praying often that I will be able to treat her more like a child and no longer expect an adult’s reaction from her.
We moms have a tendency to expect more from our own children. Sometimes we just forget, especially if we are with them all the time and not with adults as often. Our children are children and we should treat them as such and let them have the childhood. So when your child spills the drink all over the table instead of saying “Why did you do that?” think to yourself because he is a child. When your child throws a fit at the age of 2 and you say “You are too old for that behavior” they are really the right age for it. I am not suggesting we don’t discipline to teach the correct behavior, I am just saying take it into a realisitic perspective.
Our children are children for a very short time and we should treasure that time rather than wish it away with expectations of adulthood.
You said it Lori. I do exactly this with Isaac. I guess b/c he is a boy and he’s the oldest I do expect more from him. Now I have 2 little girls full of drama (wear me out drama) so I expect Isaac to act like an adult all the time and take care of himself. The other night the girls were all over me wanting hugs and sitting on my lap, typical girl behavior in my house. A few minutes after I got up to clean the kitchen Isaac came up and stood beside me…wanting a hug but not knowing how to go about it. I forget he needs reassurance as well. So I talked to him while I was doing dishes, he stood next to the sink with me and told me all about his day at school…it was like he wanted too all along but was waiting for me to ask. I am trying to do better now…poor little guy. Thanks for reinforcing this point.
That is so true and a great reminder. My 9 year old son matured quickly much the same way as your daughter did. I too expect too much from him sometimes. I think I may go squeeze his cheeks right now! 🙂
Lori,
I think you hit the nail on the head. I am also guilty of treating my older two children like mini adults. I’m also guilty of babying my baby! I thank God daily for His grace that fills in the gaps of my many parenting mistakes!
Great post, girl! Have a wonderful weekend.
Kristen (sharpymom)