{"id":929,"date":"2009-09-14T07:00:16","date_gmt":"2009-09-14T11:00:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/faithfilledmom.com\/?p=929"},"modified":"2009-10-11T12:19:29","modified_gmt":"2009-10-11T16:19:29","slug":"chapter-11-balance-as-a-mom-is-it-even-possible","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/faithfilledmom.com\/chapter-11-balance-as-a-mom-is-it-even-possible\/","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 11, Balance as a mom, is it even possible…"},"content":{"rendered":"

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.\u00a0 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.\u00a0 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.\u00a0 She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?\u00a0 Tell her to help me!”\u00a0 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.\u00a0 Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Luke 10: 39-42<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Hey God, It’s me Lori,\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

Please give me a way to balance my life.\u00a0 When it is lopsided everyone feels the pain.\u00a0 It all trickles down but when it is balanced everyone feels the joy that too trickles down.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>Balance as a mom is it even possible…<\/strong><\/div>\n
\"My

My kids trying to balance on see saws at the playground<\/p><\/div>\n

\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>One of my best friends in the world told me a few years ago “Lori you truly have it all.\u00a0 Your life is totally balanced.\u00a0 You have kids and stay at home but you also get to work with all your volunteer work at school and church.\u00a0 You are running so physically you feel good about yourself and you have deepened your faith in God.\u00a0 You have a truly balanced life.”\u00a0 This was at a\u00a0time in which my husband was not making much money at work and we were literally struggling to pay for the groceries.\u00a0 Her words gave me pause and I realized in that moment she was so right.<\/p>\n

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat (or drink), or about your body, what you will wear.\u00a0 Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?\u00a0 Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father fills them.\u00a0 Are not you more important than they?\u00a0 Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life span?\u00a0 Why are you anxious about clothes?\u00a0 Will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?\u00a0 Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.\u00a0 But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.\u00a0 Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Matthew Chapter 6<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Jesus Christ taught us that it is not about these worldly possessions and in fact if that is what you make of this world then your reward will be here and not in heaven.\u00a0 It is about following his example of selfless love for others.\u00a0 This is a way of living that outside of being a religious people has often been frowned upon.\u00a0 How can a company make money off of helping those who need it the most if they lose money in the process?\u00a0 It is a different way of life that mainstream America does not want to look at in the here and now.<\/p>\n

Nobody does it right all the time.\u00a0 But if you are looking for balance it does not come in a pill and I cannot spoon feed it to you in a book.\u00a0 You have to make a commitment to it.\u00a0 To dedicate your life to living it a different way than you have been.\u00a0 If you change it, so that you take time for each of these important aspects of your life you will see a difference in your life.\u00a0 Instead of being the hamster on the wheel you may just start to see your life around you, within you and how you make a difference in this world.\u00a0 God did not\u00a0put you here to spin in that wheel, most of the time we are stuck with that feeling but you don’t have to be.<\/p>\n

The way I try to balance my life can be broken down into several areas:<\/p>\n

A) My faith<\/p>\n

B) Time I spend with my children<\/p>\n

C) Physical Activity<\/p>\n

D) Service: Volunteer Work at School and Church<\/p>\n

E) Retreats\/Talks<\/p>\n

F) Dates with my husband<\/p>\n

G) Hanging out with Friends<\/p>\n

“Take the first step in faith.\u00a0 You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

-Martin Luther King Jr.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0I will start with my faith.\u00a0 You already know so much about it.\u00a0 In order to keep my faith strong and healthy I need to help it by praying to God daily.\u00a0 I read the Bible daily with the Living Word book.\u00a0 It never takes more than 10 minutes. Sometimes I find a chapter I like so much that I just keep reading.\u00a0 I usually read the Bible with my breakfast or sitting out on the swing in the backyard while the kids are playing.\u00a0 I go to Church every Sunday\u00a0and usually 1-2 times during the week to listen to the Word of God.\u00a0 To hear how the priest will translate the word into a way to live that Word that day.\u00a0 I go to Church to be with a community of believers that support my faith and help to build it up.\u00a0 I go to Church so that my children become a part of this community.<\/p>\n

\u00a0 I rely on God on a daily basis asking for his help with my life even with the small things, like giving me patience to not yell.\u00a0 When I do these things daily\/weekly I feel my faith is where it needs to be that it is growing and being feed as well.\u00a0 When I don’t pray to God or read the Bible I feel more confused like something has shifted or is out of balance.\u00a0 I am less patient, when I don’t pray for help with it.\u00a0 There are very few times I have missed Church on Sunday and when I do I feel that my week never came to an end and there is something in me that is missing.\u00a0 These daily practices help me to feel whole in my faith.<\/p>\n

\u00a0“Priorities – A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove…<\/strong><\/p>\n

but the wold may be different because <\/strong><\/p>\n

I was important in the life of a child.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

Spending time with my children brings balance to my life.\u00a0 I have written about the precious time I spend with each of my children individually as we pray at night time.\u00a0 We also spend time together before school, on the walk to school, after school etc.\u00a0 Summer is the best time for me with my children because I get to spend so much more time with them all day long every day.\u00a0 I am a stay at home mom so I am blessed to have not just quality but quantity time with my children.\u00a0 We try to have a family dinner every evening together. We probably accomplish that 5 evenings a week due to sports practices.\u00a0 I love the time I spend with my children and my husband as a family. We love to bike ride together, play on playgrounds and swim together.\u00a0 Being with my family completes me, refreshes me and always makes me feel warm and cozy inside.\u00a0 I adore my family and thank God for each one of them daily.\u00a0 The more time we spend as a family the more balanced I feel.\u00a0 At dinner time we pray together and talk about our day.\u00a0 We each get to know just a little bit more about each other.\u00a0 It’s easy, it’s common and it’s real.\u00a0 Family time brings balance.<\/p>\n

“My life has changed because of watching my diet, exercising, just having a better attitude in life.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

-Tom DeGoote<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0Physical activity is vital to my mood each day.\u00a0 I am a much kinder, considerate and thoughtful person when I have had a chance to run, bike or work out.\u00a0 My running as you read earlier is also intertwined with my prayer time.\u00a0 After much prayer and deep reflection of course I am in a better mood.\u00a0 I also feel much better about myself when I work out.\u00a0 If you work out you know your body craves healthy food, mine sure does.\u00a0\u00a0It all comes together.\u00a0 I work out so I pray, I feel better about myself and I eat well, I just knocked out three different things I need each day in one activity.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works?\u00a0 Can that faith save him? If a brother or\u00a0sister has nothing to wear and has no food for the day, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, keep warm and eat well,” but you do not give them the neccessities of the body, what good is it?\u00a0 So also faith of itself, if it does not have works is dead.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

James 2 14-17<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Service to others also helps to put my life into balance.\u00a0 When I serve others I feel like I am doing what God has called me to do. Like the reading above says you can say you have faith but without serving others it is dead.\u00a0 When I first was married and had little ones service was not on my mind because I was serving as a mom and a wife and it is all consuming and I still do.\u00a0 When I became pregnant with #3 I was asked to join a committee at Church and although reluctant at the time my husband wanted to get involved so we joined it.\u00a0 From there my service flourished.\u00a0 I had this nagging saying stuck in my head, I feel sure God put it there, for months.\u00a0 If Jesus came to you today this moment and asked you “What have you done for the least of my people?” what would your answer be.\u00a0<\/em> I could not get that out of my head until I started a new children’s stewardship program at my children’s school.<\/p>\n

I coordinate the program for the entire school but I don’t do it alone we have the teachers as well as volunteer moms that help with the different grade levels.\u00a0 I enjoy this program so much because the children learn to serve in a very informative and organized manner so that they will remember who they have helped and why.\u00a0 I am very involved with service through this program.\u00a0 I also serve in other ways with the Church.\u00a0<\/p>\n

These volunteer positions help to give me challenges for my mind when for years I felt that I was losing my mental abilities because all I spoke was baby language.\u00a0 Especially through the service program at the school I feel like I am helping to teach the children about serving God by serving eachother.\u00a0 Service helps me find balance in a mommy world that I need desperately.\u00a0 The rewards of service are not even measurable.<\/p>\n

“When I think of a retreat, I think of a gift to myself that helps me grow in my love for my God.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0– Mary Fusting<\/strong><\/p>\n

I also balance my life with Retreats.\u00a0 We started a retreat at my church, called Koinonia it is the Greek word for Community, a few years ago.\u00a0 The actual Koinonia retreat is over 30 years old and has been completed in 10 different states.\u00a0 It is a retreat based on Adults Encountering Christ within their own Community.\u00a0 I attended the retreat at my Church with my husband. Then I was invited to serve on the next retreat.\u00a0 Retreats are like a moment out of time for one to reflect on their relationship with God and others.\u00a0 To re-evaluate our place in this world and what we need to change.\u00a0 It is a gentle check point on our on going map of this life.\u00a0 I enjoyed the retreat but what I found that I enjoyed more was serving on the retreats.\u00a0 They even let me be the Lay Director (head) of one retreat.\u00a0 I had 75 people on my team and I was responsible for the organization and overall details of the entire weekend.\u00a0 It was exhilarating. I loved\u00a0it.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0Through the retreat experience I have been asked to give talks to the retreatants.\u00a0 I absolutely love giving talks.\u00a0 I get about 3 months to preapre with an outline for a talk.\u00a0 I pray, research, read the Bible then I write.\u00a0 I have a passion for writing and speaking.\u00a0 After the last talk\u00a0a sweet friend of mine commented “Lori, it was as though there was a light all around you when you were speaking.”\u00a0 I am sure you know as most people do that one of the top fears of Americans is the fear of public speaking.\u00a0 I was one of those people until I started speaking for the children’s stewardship program, I am the volunteer coordinator of it, in front of the school.\u00a0 When I stared doing talks for the retreats, it was such an awesome experience.\u00a0 I swear to you that I write the words that God inspires me to write and then I give that talk with a passion that is completely uninhibited by fear.\u00a0 I feel that the Holy Spirit takes over and I am just the vessel delivering the words.\u00a0 It is like a complete natural high.\u00a0 I would love to continue to speak for God about what I am most passionate about which is God and His call to me and to you.<\/p>\n

The feelings and emotions that I have been able to experience through serving, organizing and speaking on the retreats just completes me as a person.\u00a0 They are excellent outlets for my love of God and to express my faith to others who are actually interested.\u00a0 Retreats and\u00a0 talks I have had the good fortune to give have given me inspiration and exhiliaration.\u00a0 Times to prepare for and anticipate.\u00a0 As good as it is for me and my soul.\u00a0 It is even better for the retreatants who get to experience the benefits of my passions.\u00a0 They come to know the love of those around them over the course of\u00a0 just a few days and become bonded to others for a lifetime.\u00a0 They form family and find the love of God.\u00a0 So as selfish as it may seem that I love the high I get it’s also from giving God to others.<\/p>\n

“A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

-Pearl S. Buck<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dates with my husband.\u00a0 When my first child Ethan was born I never wanted to leave him so I rarely went on a date with my husband.\u00a0 However, when Anna came along and enjoyed crying I found that I needed that time away for my sanity.\u00a0 Still it was not often.\u00a0 Over the births of the last 2 children we have tried to go on a date at least monthly.\u00a0 We try to go on dates where we can talk to each other at some point.\u00a0 Some of my favorite dates have been when we go mountain biking together.\u00a0 It’s great fun to mountain bike on tight paths and it’s a real rush not to hit a tree.\u00a0 It’s just pure natural fun.\u00a0 Somewhat like the fun I had when I was a kid just riding my bike for the thrill of it.\u00a0 Not to lose weight but to see how fast I could go.\u00a0 It’s great to have a fun hobby with your spouse.\u00a0 Something the two of you can enjoy together.<\/p>\n

He also likes to run, he ran cross country in high school and has fallen in and out of running for years.\u00a0 When we run together we have uninterrupted conversations.\u00a0 We also have season tickets to a stage production series, you can get them really cheap if you go on a week night.\u00a0 I like that because then we have something new to discuss that we both experience together.\u00a0 I love to discover new things with my husband.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0It is so easy to get to that point in your marriage, especially with children, where your relationship is just the backdrop of your life.\u00a0 The relationship you have with your spouse sets an unbelievable example for your children.\u00a0 Everyone knows that what children witness from their parents they carry into adulthood.\u00a0 My husband and I like to laugh together.\u00a0 We do not call each other names or put each other down with sarcasim.\u00a0 I think many couples do this and it can be a slippery slope.\u00a0 I for one respect my husband so much that I don’t want to insult him even in a joking manner.<\/p>\n

It is extremely difficult at times to give any time to our spouse.\u00a0 The more time you invest in your relationship the better it is.\u00a0 We don’t expect our spring flowers to grow without tending them do we?\u00a0 How do we just expect that our relationship with our spouse will grow if we don’t tend to it?\u00a0 I could write a book entirely on this subject.\u00a0 The point I am trying to make is that when my life is in wonderful harmony it is because I am making the time to spend with my husband and renew and grow our relationship.<\/p>\n

“A true friend is one who knows all about you <\/strong><\/p>\n

and likes you anyway.” <\/strong><\/p>\n

– Christy Mary Warner<\/strong><\/p>\n

The last thing that balances my life is hanging out with my friends.\u00a0 I really enjoy being with friends that like to run, walk or play tennis with me.\u00a0 I just feel so good and free and open when I am in motion and physically active.\u00a0 Not to say that I don’t have a great time chatting away on the phone or serving others with friends I also do that.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0Friends give your life another diminsion because they are not in your immediate framily, you can choose to tell them what you want them to hear or what you want help with.\u00a0 Friends will listen to just your side of the story and give you sympathy and sometimes the tough love you need.\u00a0 As a mom I don’t want to just go off on any of my children so there are times I have to hold it all in.\u00a0 Many days my husband is already asleep by the time I have the \u00a0children tucked in and all the chores are completed.\u00a0 Friends are the perfect place to go to just talk and talk and talk some more. Another excellent benefit to a friend is that you get to listen to someone else’s\u00a0 story and not have to think about your own.\u00a0 They are great listeners and are simply put\u00a0just a joy to be around.\u00a0 A good friend can make you feel like a new person and re-energize your spirit.<\/p>\n

“Balance, peace and joy, are the fruit of a successful life.\u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n

It starts with recognizing\u00a0your talents <\/strong><\/p>\n

and finding ways to serve others by using them.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0-Thomas Kinkade<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>Those are the main things I think are in check when I feel balanced in my life.\u00a0 What balances your life?\u00a0 Everyone feels balance in different ways.\u00a0 I have a best friend who would call me during college, in deperation and say, “everything is going wrong, I cannot concentrate on my studies.\u00a0 I feel horrible about myself. \u00a0I just don’t know what is going on help me counselor”.\u00a0 She called me her counselor because I was a psychology major and I enjoyed analyzing her problems.\u00a0 I knew her well enough to know that her life was not in balance if she had not read the Bible or been to a park outdoors in a few days.\u00a0 Suddenly she would feel closed in and overwhelmed by life.\u00a0 But as soon as she would take time out of her jam packed schedule and go to a park, sit by a stream and read the\u00a0Bible and pray she was right bak on track and\u00a0balanced again.\u00a0 She needed that\u00a0quiet reflection, a break away from the hectic life she lived.\u00a0 She is now a Psychiatrist with a quiet faith that goes beyond the depth of most anyone I know.\u00a0 I love her for being my friend and I admire her for teaching me that only God can slow down your pace enough to put you back on the path you should be on.\u00a0 She called me to remind her to do just that!<\/p>\n

Think to yourself when do you feel complete, balanced or at peace with where you are in your life?\u00a0 Do you take the time to pray on a daily basis?\u00a0 Do you try to exercise a few times a week or do you actually do it?\u00a0 Do you ever take time away from normal life for a retreat?\u00a0 Have you served others outside of your home before?\u00a0 Have always wanted to but never done it?\u00a0 If you have taken the time to serve and realized the fulfillment do it again and again and again, it only gets better.\u00a0 Do you ever reflect on\u00a0how you are living your life, if your priorities are in the order that you want them to be in?\u00a0 Do you take the time you need to renew and energize your relationship with your spouse?\u00a0 Have you talked or walked with a friend lately?\u00a0<\/p>\n

Get out a notebook and actually answer those questions on paper.\u00a0 Your life is filled with different people, ideas, jobs, respnsibilities and passions.\u00a0 What 6 things can you think of that would make you feel more well rounded or complete as a person?\u00a0 Don’t think to yourself I can’t write that down I’ll never do it.\u00a0 Just write\u00a0what you are missing and what you need to do to make it better.\u00a0 Then really reflect on those items.\u00a0 Are they things that you can attempt?\u00a0 Are they feasible?\u00a0 How can you make them happen to make your life more meaningful not just for yourself but also for the people around you?\u00a0 God wants you to be happy with your existence and to be able\u00a0to love those around you.\u00a0 You cannot fulfill your purpose or calling from God if you are so caught up in everyday tasks that you never can slow down enough to catch your breath.\u00a0 So just reflect on this section and those questions for awhile.\u00a0 Really brainstorm, jot down some ideas and let God lead the inspiration and guide you to a balance in your life.
\n\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\"My

My husband trying to keep his balance at the playground<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.\u00a0 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.\u00a0 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.\u00a0 She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself?\u00a0 Tell her to help me!”\u00a0 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.\u00a0 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":964,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[61],"tags":[89,24,20,131,223,23],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/faithfilledmom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/929"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/faithfilledmom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/faithfilledmom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faithfilledmom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faithfilledmom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=929"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/faithfilledmom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/929\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faithfilledmom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/964"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/faithfilledmom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=929"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faithfilledmom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=929"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faithfilledmom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=929"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}