“You’re a big boy you can do it yourself!” How often do you say this to your child?
We want our children to become independent able to do everything for themselves. Part of parenting is giving them the tools and confidence to do it on their own to prepare them for the future. How many parents push their children way too young to be that independent? Some parents believe the sooner they become independent the less they will have to do. But something gets lost when you do it too soon or with everything. Raising children takes a delicate balance of giving them the freedom to be independent and the encouragement to come to us as parents when they need the support. As parents we are human and we fail miserably daily but that doesn’t mean we should not continue to try.
There are many fine lines we walk as parents, finding that line is half the battle. We want our children to be independent but we want them to be secure and as odd as this may sound the more they feel we will hold them and take care of them the more they feel they can do it on their own. Sounds contradictory, right? We need to let them run and jump and play but when they fall we need to pick them up, when they can’t make the path we need to give them a piggy back ride. Just because our 5 year old weighs 50 lbs and they are heavy does that mean their little spirit is too old for a piggy back ride?
Cherish the times that your child wants to snuggle with you especially as they age for the times are fleeting. The days are long but the years fly by. Give them their independence but don’t force it upon them at all times they still need us and that is normal and healthy and to withhold that security and love from them is an injustice to our children’s growth and development. Don’t do everything for them but when you see they need help or some snuggle time give it to them. Our children will only be young once and what they grow up with will form who they are as an adult. That thought scares me, so I pray that I will give my children what they need daily and I just keep, keepin on!